A life less ordinary
I have been thinking a lot these last few weeks about faith as mine has been waning. Where did these doubts come from and how to dispel them? Do I even want to? Does faith require effort or is it just something that we have or do not have?
For five years now I have coasted through my Buddhist practise on blissful faith. Then out of the blue, it dried up. My daily practises suddenly lost their meaning and the place to which I would normally turn to figure out my problems had gone. My meditation practice was not bearing any fruit. I kept on going through the motions but it felt hollow and meaningless, even silly. I began to wonder if it was time for some big changes in my life.
I knew in my heart that Buddha's teachings on love and compassion were beautiful and that the practical applications of these teachings had in many ways transformed my life, my relationships and my view of the world. But I was wondering if I could take these and step away from the tradition that had passed them on to me.
ButI did go on practising and slowly the joy is coming back. I have started to come into another flowering of faith, another level which is more considered and tested and a clear choice. I think faith is a choice and needs to be reassessed and checked up on regularly. I don't even think the words blind faith go together, I think they contradict one another.
During this period of inner upheaval, somebody said that we can only hang on to what we know to be true from our own experience. We can use this to ride through difficult times. For me that was greater patience, less anger, better relationships and happiness. One thing I knew for sure was that my Buddhist practice made me happy. Since this is our most basic universal wish, I had a sturdy raft to cling to.
So I rode out the storm and came back for shelter where I started but with a deeper awareness of this being my choice. I have learnt that I need to become a more steady practitioner, one who keeps on going even when the good feelings are not there.
When I was lacking in faith everything felt very ordinary, very black and white and somewhat unchangeable. But for me, with faith, anything is possible and the whole world is more alive. I feel more connected to everybody around me and less lost in my own inner dramas.
One of my teachers once said that if we practise Buddha's teachings we can come to the end of our life and look back to see a trail of beauty behind us. What a wonderful aspiration however we choose to embody it.
So whatever your way of travelling this crazy ride of life, I wish you faith in your choices, flexibility of mind and great happiness.
And, of course, much love, K.xxxx
For five years now I have coasted through my Buddhist practise on blissful faith. Then out of the blue, it dried up. My daily practises suddenly lost their meaning and the place to which I would normally turn to figure out my problems had gone. My meditation practice was not bearing any fruit. I kept on going through the motions but it felt hollow and meaningless, even silly. I began to wonder if it was time for some big changes in my life.
I knew in my heart that Buddha's teachings on love and compassion were beautiful and that the practical applications of these teachings had in many ways transformed my life, my relationships and my view of the world. But I was wondering if I could take these and step away from the tradition that had passed them on to me.
ButI did go on practising and slowly the joy is coming back. I have started to come into another flowering of faith, another level which is more considered and tested and a clear choice. I think faith is a choice and needs to be reassessed and checked up on regularly. I don't even think the words blind faith go together, I think they contradict one another.
During this period of inner upheaval, somebody said that we can only hang on to what we know to be true from our own experience. We can use this to ride through difficult times. For me that was greater patience, less anger, better relationships and happiness. One thing I knew for sure was that my Buddhist practice made me happy. Since this is our most basic universal wish, I had a sturdy raft to cling to.
So I rode out the storm and came back for shelter where I started but with a deeper awareness of this being my choice. I have learnt that I need to become a more steady practitioner, one who keeps on going even when the good feelings are not there.
When I was lacking in faith everything felt very ordinary, very black and white and somewhat unchangeable. But for me, with faith, anything is possible and the whole world is more alive. I feel more connected to everybody around me and less lost in my own inner dramas.
One of my teachers once said that if we practise Buddha's teachings we can come to the end of our life and look back to see a trail of beauty behind us. What a wonderful aspiration however we choose to embody it.
So whatever your way of travelling this crazy ride of life, I wish you faith in your choices, flexibility of mind and great happiness.
And, of course, much love, K.xxxx
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