I'm here.....4th of January, Sydney, Australia

I’m a positive person. I get it from my dad. Ask him how he is and his answer is; “I couldn’t be better”. Now we all know that this probably isn’t true every time he says it but it’s an attitude that he has cultivated to get him through the day with a sense of gratitude for what is generally a fortunate life here in Australia.

            I learned this attitude from him and augmented it with a daily Buddhist meditation practice that leads my mind in the direction of happiness through consciously generating good intentions and a kind heart. I’ve worked towards a stable experience of inner peace and wellbeing.

            Yet yesterday I woke feeling completely disconnected from myself. It felt like there was a black hole at my heart and I was being pulled into it. My inner dialogue was full of negative thoughts and everything in my life felt equally unimportant and overwhelming. It took all my inner strength to drag myself back from this rising panic and fear.

            Why did this feeling suddenly appear and where did it come from?

            Have you seen the news? Right now in my lounge room Sky News is showing devastating scenes from the fires that are burning all over my country. I’m safe here in Sydney and frightened for those already impacted and still in the path of the unpredictable fires. We have delayed a short trip away to the country because the property we are renting has fires only twenty kilometres away. We are waiting to see what happens today in the extreme hot and windy conditions that are expected to make all of the fires worse.

            My sons and I have been playing the tiny violins that are appropriate for our changed holiday plans while others in our country have lost lives and homes. 480 million animals have perished in these out-of-control blazes. My heart is so heavy. I have genuinely never felt so scared about what we have allowed to happen in our country and in our world.

            Everyone is blaming Scomo though we know it’s not his fault, how could it be? What we are crying out for his reassurance and strong leadership. We need our prime minister to use every resource that we have available as a nation including calling in favours from others to help us battle these fires. And we need him to clearly lay out the government’s plans for a future in which we do our very best to combat the climate issues that we have all been a part of creating and which have contributed to the inferno that is engulfing us.  

            Please find it within you, Scott Morrison, to accept that the current policies of our government have been misguided and that it is well over time to change our focus from immediate profits for some to the long term care of each other and our land. Exporting coal, pulling it out of the ground and burning it to generate power either here or elsewhere is adding to the problem, the end result of which is disaster such as we are currently experiencing. We need you to be a leader in every sense of the word, please listen to the experts. 

            All this at a time of year when we are usually enjoying a break and celebrating, making plans for the coming months and generating the energy and motivation to see some of them through. I’ve been trying to do this, having friends around, going to parties and the beach but I realised yesterday that in the back of my mind I’m sad and scared. No amount of merriment has chased away the lurking black clouds that have descended in all ways.

            What can we do?

            We can contribute materially and financially to relief efforts and keep out of the way as much as possible while experts do their work at trying to contain this disaster. I am using my tools of prayer and positive thoughts and intentions, joining a group session yesterday evening when we spent some time as a collective on this and practising privately.

            We can allow these intentions to move us to action in the coming weeks, months and years as we take a good long look at ourselves as a society and try to make changes, small and large, that will lessen our impact on the earth and on each other.

            I’ve cried which helped to release some of the pent up sadness and frustration, fear and uncertainty. And now I write because that is my way of connecting with others, of saying that I am sorry that I have been a part of this problem and that I hope that together we can solve it.   

            My spiritual teacher says that love is the real nuclear bomb, destroying all our enemies and giving us the wisdom and ability to solve all problems. So it is my wish that by remaining open-hearted and truly seeing and acknowledging that everyone’s happiness and freedom from suffering is equally as important as my own, that the changes that we need will come quickly.

            I send this love and wish for the happiness and freedom of all for 2020 and always.  

            K.x