Putting an end to self doubt

Wouldn't it be lovely to accept ourselves just as we are? Of course with the knowledge that we will continue to grow and learn and change and be wrong. But just to think, it is all okay, my mistakes are okay, my confusion itself is okay, I am okay. In light of recent health issues (which are ongoing with another specialist appointment next week but clear biopsy results - phew!) I am strongly feeling that I want to head out very bravely into the world free from self doubt. But it's not that easy. I spent a day last week very closely watching my mind (as I did a whole lot of biscuit making for a friend to sell at a cafe) and it was alarming to notice how often a self critical or self doubting thought entered my mind. And then we wonder why we don't achieve what we want when there is often a terribly annoying and undermining little voice in the back of our heads suggesting that we are really not up to it. So my mission for the end of the year is to exorcise that voice of self doubt. (Yes you, I have you in the headlights and your days are numbered).
Last Friday at a class that I attend called "Art andSoul" with an amazing lady called Sally Swain (look her up if you want an inspiring life and art teacher) I made a picture symbolising this decision. It was quite a confronting liitle piece and almost aggressive which surprised me. So I haven't put it on the wall in case I frighten the children or others who come into my work space but I know it is there and I will use it as a reminder of the task at hand. Saying that the whole thing is quite funny and when I shared these ideas in the class they said, "Don't we all do that" so I know that I am not alone with this self doubting pallaver (never used that word before, looks strange). But now with an awareness of the brevity of life (I know I am harping on about this but the truth of it is still new to me) I want to follow my heart with confidence. To step forward with grreat confidence that I am doing the best with what I've got right now. So there.
Wishing freedom to all and much love, K.xx