Tears in the playground
My son took a long time getting dressed this morning. It shouldn't take very long to put on a shirt, shorts and undies (sometimes!) but today it did. You see he is in his new class for 2011 starting today (year two) and none of his mates are in with him. He is not the type to worry too much over things so I don't think he had thought much about this over the weekend but when it came time to get ready, he remembered. I told him that I would do whatever I could to help and that it was perfectly normal to feel a little nervous on days like this. He is a friendly little guy so I know that he will strike up some new friendships quickly and he assured me of this himeself as we walked to school. It was just one of those tricky mornings and I had to let him go slow.
At school another little boy in the playground was crying and most upset. He would not accept hugs from his mum and refused to go into class with the rest of the kids when the bell rang. His arms were crossed, his school bag abandoned and he was not having a bar of any of it. I could see the stress on his mum's face. I wished I could do something to help but did not want to complicate things further and doubted that another adult in his face would help when mum was having no luck. So I stood at a distance and tried this mind thing where you imagine taking away a person's suffering as you breathe in and giving out love as you breathe out. I did this for a few minutes and as the playground cleared and dad came in from the car to help out as well, I left to walk home. I hope his day improved quickly.
Then I was thinking about all of the kids getting back into the school year, from new kindies to high school kids and remembering what a nerve wracking experience it can be. When we are young we rely so much on our friends and if we are separated from them it can be scary. Change itself is scary. We can be a pretty nervous lot really, adults and children alike. Fear lurks within our minds and presents itself all too often. Especially when we wake suddenly at four in the morning or thereabouts and it feels like your whole world has crumbled and you have to spend some time putting it back together in your head before you can sleep again, don't you hate that.
It seems that the only way through fear is to face it, learn from it and grow. Although we would like to protect our children (and ourselves) from all fears, we know that this is impossible. We probably just need to be there for them while they gather the tools necessary to move through each new and daunting experience. We can help them to recall how they have coped with difficult times in the past and also remind them that fear, like all states of mind, will pass. Fear will beget confidence and allow us all opportunities to grow and to keep stretching ourselves.
The other option is to hide away from new experiences and change. To let ourselves shrink rather than expand. However this leaves our minds narrow and does not chase away the fear but rather, allows it to become bigger and scarier. No fun there.
So here's a cheer for fear, the sign that we are all growing up, learning, trying new things and a state of mind which we can definitely win over.
with love, K.xx
At school another little boy in the playground was crying and most upset. He would not accept hugs from his mum and refused to go into class with the rest of the kids when the bell rang. His arms were crossed, his school bag abandoned and he was not having a bar of any of it. I could see the stress on his mum's face. I wished I could do something to help but did not want to complicate things further and doubted that another adult in his face would help when mum was having no luck. So I stood at a distance and tried this mind thing where you imagine taking away a person's suffering as you breathe in and giving out love as you breathe out. I did this for a few minutes and as the playground cleared and dad came in from the car to help out as well, I left to walk home. I hope his day improved quickly.
Then I was thinking about all of the kids getting back into the school year, from new kindies to high school kids and remembering what a nerve wracking experience it can be. When we are young we rely so much on our friends and if we are separated from them it can be scary. Change itself is scary. We can be a pretty nervous lot really, adults and children alike. Fear lurks within our minds and presents itself all too often. Especially when we wake suddenly at four in the morning or thereabouts and it feels like your whole world has crumbled and you have to spend some time putting it back together in your head before you can sleep again, don't you hate that.
It seems that the only way through fear is to face it, learn from it and grow. Although we would like to protect our children (and ourselves) from all fears, we know that this is impossible. We probably just need to be there for them while they gather the tools necessary to move through each new and daunting experience. We can help them to recall how they have coped with difficult times in the past and also remind them that fear, like all states of mind, will pass. Fear will beget confidence and allow us all opportunities to grow and to keep stretching ourselves.
The other option is to hide away from new experiences and change. To let ourselves shrink rather than expand. However this leaves our minds narrow and does not chase away the fear but rather, allows it to become bigger and scarier. No fun there.
So here's a cheer for fear, the sign that we are all growing up, learning, trying new things and a state of mind which we can definitely win over.
with love, K.xx
Comments
Post a Comment